A Bump in the Road

Well, it's been quite some time since I've had anything to say. I've been focused on getting youth group up and running for this year and being a vessel for God to use in my ministry during this season. Matt has been helping me in getting my older youth group started as well as leading an adult connect group in our church. It's been an exciting, challenging season, and not one where we feel like we've just been sitting around waiting. Over the past few weeks, I felt God drawing me closer to him in a whole new way, and asking me to make some sacrifices to strengthen our connection. This is when I decided to break from Facebook. I won't go into explaining my angst about this particular form of social media, I just knew it was something I needed to do.

We knew when we began this journey toward adoption that we would experience some bumps in the road and we recently experienced one that tested our strength and faith. It even caused me to momentarily doubt whether adoption was the right path for us.

I won't include all the details but it all began on October 7th when Matt received a call from the adoption agency about a mother who was already in labor. She had contacted the adoption agency late for reasons I won't go into. The agency gave Matt as many details about the case as possible and asked him to decide within 30 minutes if we were to be presented to the mother. He decided to go ahead and have them present us. He later found out that she was not actually in labor and had been sent home from the hospital but that she did choose us. When Matt told me, I was excited but also cautious because of details the agency revealed to us that could possibly lead to a failed placement. Nevertheless, this was exciting news!

We began waiting to hear the call that we could go to Orlando to get our baby. We spent this waiting period praying that everything would go smoothly if it was God's will that we adopt this baby but also that it would not be allowed to go through if it wasn't the right situation for us.

Ten days later, we got the call. She was in labor. We felt a mix of emotions that is hard to describe. We felt overwhelmed, excited, surprised, but guarded because we did not want to experience heartbreak in the event that the placement failed. We went to the store to buy some last minute baby supplies, installed the car seat, and packed our bags in preparation to travel to Orlando the next day. We found out at 9:30 PM that a healthy baby boy was born.

As we were driving to Orlando the next day, we got a phone call from the agency that a family member had expressed interest in adopting the baby but that we were still the birth mother's first choice. We became even more doubtful at this point but continued on.

We arrived at the hospital in Orlando at about 4:00 PM and met the agency representative. After a short wait in the hospital lobby, we went up to meet the birth mother. Both the birth mother and the baby were in the room and baby was as cute as we were told he was. She asked if we would hold the baby so both Matt and I did. She then reassured us that the family member was not going to adopt the baby and that she had no doubt we were the right couple to parent her child. She said that she wanted to bless us and that she was in no way prepared to parent this child. We talked for a while about how we would raise the baby and about what her goals and aspirations were. She then gave us a hug and told us the baby was ours. She said all we had to do was come back to the hospital tomorrow and sign the paperwork. Many, but not all, of our doubts were gone at that point. We were as close to being parents as we have ever been.

We stayed the night in Orlando and got up the next morning waiting to hear from the agency that we could go to the hospital to sign the paperwork and take home our baby. We had to wait for them to be discharged before we could go to the hospital so we spent some time on the grounds of the bed and breakfast we stayed at. It was an old Florida style house built in 1883 with a beautiful garden. The weather was perfect so we spent some time in the garden with a big orange cat that had curled up next to Kristin on a bench.

The cat seemed to know that we needed comfort

After what seemed like an eternity, Matt got a phone call from the agency. It was not what we expected to hear. Matt knew immediately something was wrong because our agency representative did not give the normal, upbeat greeting. She said, "Hey Matt" then paused, "I just got off the phone with the birth mom counselor and [the birth mom] has changed her mind. She has decided to parent the baby." I didn't even have to ask Matt because I knew by his face that everything had changed in an instant. My heart sank. At first I couldn't understand why because of everything she told us; she was so sure adoption was the right path and that we were the right parents. We went from expecting to hear news that would change our life to driving home with an empty car seat to continue life as it had always been.

There were a lot of tears and a lot of questions in our minds but now that we've had almost two weeks to recover, I know I wouldn't change anything about our decision. We were given the opportunity to minister to a hurting woman in a way that few would be open to. She had probably experienced more instability than anyone I have ever met, which we believe lead to her change of heart.

At first we were so hurt and confused. How could God let us get into this situation only to be left empty handed? We were angry at her for building up our hopes only to go back on everything she had promised. What injustice! What kind of life would that child go on to live? God has been so gracious in not letting us stay too long in this place of questioning.

One thing is for certain- Matt and I have grown closer than ever since we've faced this trial. We got to talk about what our true desires were for the adoption, and we realized that although we would have loved that little boy for our entire lives, the situation as a whole was not what we had been asking God for. God cares about our heart's desires! We chose adoption not only to help a child, but to help the mother also.  In my deep moments of prayer, I knew God was leading me to pray for a woman with big dreams and goals for her life, and that by raising her child, we would be enabling her to fulfill her calling. The person we met just a week ago was so lost and hopeless that her dreams barely touched the ceiling. We will never forget her and will continue to believe she will see redemption in this life.

As for the disappointment, we know it wasn't God's will for us to be hurt by this situation. He loves us so much that he allows us to make choices, and he knew ultimately our hearts would be blessed by getting to touch another woman's life on the way to finding our baby.

My belief that we will have our baby has only been strengthened by all of it. I think next time around we will have a clearer picture of who we're looking for. I ask that you continue to pray for us as we wait. Pray for Matt as he continues to make the decision about who we will be presented to. Pray for patience so that we can make wise choices and avoid unnecessary expenses and frustration.

This has been a painful experience, and although we appreciate everyone's sympathies, we want to be able to move on in anticipation and not be reminded of this disappointment. Thank you for understanding.

In perseverance,
Kristin

Anything but Barren

       I've just finished spending a week with my youth group at camp. What an amazing experience! I think I was just as blessed if not more than the kids.

God has been speaking to me a lot lately about not living in the “waiting room” during this period of my life. While visiting Kentucky in June, a dear friend of mine said something that so perfectly described my state of mind at that point that I've thought about it ever since. She said that I probably felt like my life was waiting to begin. So true! It was after that I felt God speaking to me, reminding me that although Matt and I still don’t have a child in our home, my life is anything but barren.

        God has given me the most precious gift of being a youth leader. I've always thought I might work with kids at one point or another, maybe in a school setting, but I truly did not set out in life thinking this was my calling. The job fell into my lap last fall. God also gave the perfect group of kids for me. I actually call them little old ladies- most of them value their sleep, do very well in school, and get irritated by loud music. I do have a small number of boys in my group, but it is mostly comprised of girls. They have been such a blessing to me, especially as we have gone through this entire process. They are all so excited for me to be a mom.

         While in worship one night at camp, I looked over the sea of middle school boys and girls, and God reminded me of the verse John 4:35, “Look, I tell you, lift up your eyes, and see that the fields are white for the harvest." I was overwhelmed by the enormity of my task. During the rest of the week, I witnessed such a deep hunger for God, not only in my own youth’s hearts, but in so many others’ that God allowed me to minister to. 

         There is another verse in John that speaks of the harvest again, saying that the laborers are few. God has fixed my path in such a way that I must pour what he has given me into these kids NOW. My current plan for when we have our baby is to continue my work, but who knows how that plan could be up ended. That means I have a lot of work to do in an unknown period of time.

          I ask you dear readers; please pray that God allows our story to unfold in his perfect timing. Clearly, this isn't just about me! I still have moments of aching to have my baby now, but then I am reminded of the weighty calling I've been given.

         It will be four years on August 10^th since I lost my dad. There was a picture that someone took of him in recent years looking out on our hill in Kentucky, holding a gardening hoe. I pray I can do even a fraction of the work he did while here on earth.

For the harvest,

Kristin 

First Time Parents and Oddball Requests

         

        

        As public as we've been with our story, I have realized there are a few changes that will be taking place as we grow closer to the day we bring Baby Krauss home.  I need to give you all more detail as to how this “waiting period” is going to go. Matt and I have decided that if any potential situations arise, he will be the only one notified. This means until we are presented to a potential birth mother and she chooses us (meaning we are matched) I won’t know anything. So if you see me in person and ask for updates, I’m going to give you a clueless look and shrug. We decided to do this because the reality of knowing we are being presented to someone and them not choosing us, possibly many, many times, was too much for this heart to bear. My hero of a husband came up with this solution, and it’s made for a pretty great last month. (Don’t even think about pestering him for information. If he’s not sharing with me, his lips are sealed!)

        The only thing that has taken away the comfort of this situation is when people ask me for updates. Here is an illustration to explain my point: you know you’ve just gotten in a car to take a potentially very long car ride. You’ve accepted this fact, and have made up your mind to try and enjoy the scenery while you drive this undesignated amount of time. After about ten minutes, one of your kids in the back pipes up, “Are we there yet?” You, of course, inform them that you haven’t arrived yet, and this proceeds to happen every 10 minutes or so. At this point, you, the driver, have totally missed all the pretty scenery and have grown frustrated and impatient about your drive.

         This is how I feel when people ask daily for updates. This new arrangement with Matt in charge has made the waiting period much less stressful for me but when I am asked “are you there yet,” it brings to the forefront some of that stress. The reality of the situation is, even when we are chosen by a birth family, we still might not tell everyone. This could be for several different reasons. It could all happen so fast there are no steps in between waiting and having our baby in our arms. It could be that the situation seems unsteady and we’re nervous it won’t work out. Up until this point, our story has been ours to tell. The rest of this process involves our baby’s story, and also their birth parents’ stories. Those are not ours to tell. When our baby arrives, it will be safe to assume the birth family did not feel equipped to raise a child, and that’s why they were placed with us. All other details will remain private.

         We know the reason anyone asks us for an update every time they talk to us is because they care and want to show they are interested in what’s going on with us. My request is that you would express this caring by letting us know you are praying for us. We deeply appreciate all of the prayers that have been lifted up for us so far, and we can’t wait to tell our baby how much they were loved before they even arrived.

          I know in the past I have criticized the seemingly strange requests first time parents have made, and now that I’m almost standing in those shoes, I ask your forgiveness. I’m sure we will have other oddball requests as we venture further down the path, and I ask that you would try to see things through our eyes and understand we’re just doing what we think is best for our unique little family.

Always grateful,

Kristin

Waiting for the Call

What a whirlwind we have been through since I last wrote! Our lives have been taken over by all sorts of appointments-medical, legal, home visit, etc. Visiting family in Kentucky was a much needed break. How different it feels to now be in the position of waiting. We spent many months waiting to see if I would get pregnant without any help, several more months with the aid of treatment, more months coming to the decision to adopt and a few more looking for an agency! As long as we’ve waited to be parents, and as impatient as I can get in the moment, I still know God has the perfect time for our baby to arrive. I also want to let all of our readers know that we are still open to finding our baby outside of our agency, so if you happen to hear of someone thinking of placing their child for adoption, please contact me and I will give you our profile so that they can consider us.

While visiting my home church in Mount Sterling, I felt God showing me a parallel between earthly adoption and the adoption we all are part of when we become sons and daughters in Christ. Some children come to their family so easily, or even by surprise, like many of us are practically born into the church, being dedicated from infancy for the work of God. I was one of those people. I never wandered far from the beliefs of my parents, and have led a stable Christian life. I recognize this to be completely by the grace of God, and not to my own credit whatsoever. This is also not to say I've led a perfect life, I just haven’t wandered very far. I tell you this for the purpose of illustrating this parallel.

For others, not only do they begin life without a foundation in Christ, they might take years, maybe even most of their lives, to truly know God. Do you think God values them any less? What if God became impatient and said, “I’m tired of waiting on this person to open the door to their hearts! I’ll just focus on my kids that have walked the straight and narrow, and just give up pursuing the others.” How many of us would be lost for good? God’s grace always pursues us, never giving up the search.

When I came to this realization, I felt confident that God would help us to wait as long as we have to in order to find our baby. It’s so exciting knowing we could find them tomorrow, two weeks, two months, or two years from now. (I’m still hoping it isn't two years!)

If you have been praying for a loved one for a long time to find Christ, and at times you doubt it will ever happen or that God hears your prayers, remember it could happen when you least expect it. Just like we wait for that call telling us we are finally parents, you could find out God has done an amazing work and the person that was once a lost child has finally come home.

Waiting in hope,

      Kristin

Love Letters

       

        

        Our interview with the agency went well! It mostly consisted of paper work, but we did learn a little more about what our experience will be like. One of the craziest things we learned is that we could be matched with a situation where the baby is already born! This means we could be approved and waiting, minding our own business, and be called out of the blue with the opportunity to take our baby home!! AAAHHH! This means we at least need to be prepared with a car seat by the time we complete our home assessment process. After leaving the agency last Friday, I was so excited, but also overwhelmed. We still have a lot to do!

        I've been spending a lot of my spare time reading from our list. I just recently finished the book Dear Birthmother, and it was the only book on our list that was required without exception. This book has ended up being one of my favorites. It is full of letters between birth parents, adoptive parents, and adoptees. I wanted to share some of the letters I highlighted.

This quote is from a letter a birthmother wrote to the baby’s adoptive parents:

“I’d like to think God planned this from the beginning. I believe on September 23^rd I not only gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, I gave birth to the start of a family.”

Another like the last:

“If she decides that she wants to find me, please help her and don’t feel threatened. I don’t want to interfere with your relationship, and I won’t do anything or say anything to hinder it. Remember, I love you too!”

Another, where the birthmother is thanking the parents for giving her pictures of their son and of themselves:

“Since you sent a picture of you both, I now added those pictures to my album. As I was putting the pictures in the photo book, I thought to myself, ‘now I have my family all together,’ and that is how I feel. You are a very special and important part of my life.”

         

        There are so many more beautiful letters like these, showing that openness in adoption can be very blessed. We are praying and believing we might have a relationship like this with our child’s birth family. In the next several weeks, if I fall silent on this blog, it could be for several different reasons. Most likely is that we are completely consumed with our home assessment process, and just can’t squeeze anything else in! As more time passes, it could be because we are waiting, looking and longing for our baby, and are just trying to live life day by day. I’m sure there will also come a time that we have to protect our baby’s privacy by withholding parts of this story. Please pray for us, especially during the times of silence. We feel every prayer being lifted up on our behalf. It is an amazing feeling to know we have the support of people far and wide, some I see on a daily basis, and others I haven’t seen in years. Consider this my love letter to you.

Love,

Kristin

Open Hearts

      
     

         I've realized recently that many people that read are blog are still unsure of what type of adoption we are pursuing. The agency we are working through primarily works with expectant mothers, so this means are child will be a newborn. This also means there will most likely be a certain level of openness between ourselves and the birth family. Several of our friends have responded in different ways to this news. Some have responded with understanding because they know others that have adopted domestically and are in similar situations. Others have responded with shock, confusion and even anger. I understand this reaction is due to the fact that you care about us and don't want us to get hurt or go through any more trials. Let me attempt to ease your concerns.
        Open adoption falls on a wide spectrum. This could include exchanging letters and pictures from time to time through our agency, mailing letters directly, phone calls, or even meeting from time to time. I know people that have adopted recently with limited contact and others that have become good friends with their child's birth family. We have no idea what our situation will look like, beyond the fact that we have agreed to openness. We are not afraid, and we trust that God is leading us into a situation that is best for our child. My prayer is always that our relationship with our child's birth family will lead them closer to the Lord because I know that's what adoption is doing for us. We have friends that recently adopted and chose to name their little girl Melah, which means "loved by many". This is my heart's desire for our baby, that they will know that kind of love.
         We are also open to all races of children. I understand many people wouldn't be, and I know they probably have valid reasons for setting limitations. We also know this could result in challenges that we wouldn't otherwise face. Matt and I sense God empowering us to face these challenges. When God sought us out and chose us to be adopted into his family, he made no distinctions. We feel called to operate in a similar way. We care about the hearts of the children we encounter in this journey, not the color of their skin. We are also blessed to come from a family where adoption is not a foreign concept, and to live in a place with so much diversity. These are all contributing factors in our choice to be open.
        In the next few weeks we will be going through a series of interviews, so we would appreciate your prayers as we fully step into the adoption process. We also ask that you pray for us in this state of openness, that we will be lead by the Holy Spirit and not by any fears we might have.

Determined to trust,
      Kristin


         

We're approved!

       

        God knew I needed an answer from the agency soon! It took exactly a week for them to come to a decision, which I believe in the adoption world is pretty quick work. We have been approved! The next step will be to fill out the formal application when it comes in the mail, and then get started with the home assessment process. This will be a lot of reading, paper work, meetings, etc.

        It’s amazing how the smallest amount of good news can completely change your outlook. Just a couple of days before we heard from the agency, I was feeling so much fear that they wouldn’t choose us, and then we would be back at square one trying to decide who to apply to next. Thank you, Jessalynne Madden, for reminding me of the truth and that God has a good plan for us. There are so many people in the world who can’t say they have a true best friend, someone who has been there with you through thick and thin. God gave me such a special gift thirteen years ago!

         For so many reasons, it seems clear that God has us moving at a steady pace towards our baby. I know we might still run into delays in this process, but something my dear pastor’s wife Nora Ellen Jones has pointed out before is that God knows the perfect time for all children to come into the world. Consider how you met your spouse, who your friends are, what you’ve done as a career. If you had come into the world at a different time, do you think your life would have gone the same way? It probably wouldn’t have.  As much as we would have loved to have gotten pregnant two years ago, it simply wasn’t the right time for our baby to come into this world. Our children are individuals, not just an extension of ourselves. They have their own lives to play out. Maybe in the end we’ll know why we’ve had so many bends in the road, maybe we won’t.  I am thankful to serve a God that has a perfect timeline set up for all of us.

In awe of His plan,

Kristin

Growing in Our Hearts

     

     

       

        We've taken the past several weeks to explore our options regarding what adoption agency or attorney to use. I'm excited to announce the choice has been made! We have applied with an agency in Orlando called Life for Kids. They work to unite expectant mothers with adoptive families of their choosing.They are a small, Christian agency that was created out of the need that developed from their crisis pregnancy center. After everything we've been through, I have been so encouraged by their constant availability to answer our questions and offer support. That same devotion is given to the mothers coming to them in need of help, whether they choose to raise their baby or take the adoption route. They also provide post-abortion counseling. We now wait to see if our application is accepted. Please pray, if it is God's will, that they will look on us favorably and will enable us to continue in the process!

         

        One of our home study requirements will be a reading list. I decided to go ahead and choose a book to get started with, and the only one available from our library is a book entitled Adoption is a Family Affair! by Patricia Irwin Johnston. It reads as a manual of sorts for relatives and friends of prospective adopters. In one chapter about the stage of preparation, it talks about the concept of being pregnant by adoption: "Though most of us think only of the primary definition of the word pregnant-'carrying a developing fetus within the uterus'-the word has other usages as well. According to The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, the adjective pregnant also means 'creative, inventive; fraught with significance; abounding, overflowing; filled; charged.' No other word could better describe how I felt walking up to the post office this morning in the sprinkling rain, holding all of our paperwork, praying it would make it to the agency safely and that they would receive it all with favor! God has been speaking to me about this concept for the past week or so, even before I read that definition in my book. We are living in a state of expectancy! I am truly beginning to understand that popular adoption saying,"you may not have grown under my heart, but you grew in my heart."

        One way we will be keeping busy during this time of expectancy is by creating art to be sold in my Etsy shop. Some of the newest pieces are influenced by our current stage of life, and I am so excited to share them with all of you. Of course, if you choose to purchase any of our pieces all proceeds will go to support our adoption fund.The reason I say "our" and not "my" pieces is because Matt has contributed with some of his work as well! Enjoy browsing our shop EverAfterEveryDay. If you see a style you like but would like a custom piece, please let me know!

       From the bottom of our hearts, thank you so much for all of your continued prayers and encouraging words. In the difficult moments that have cropped up over the past few months, we have been so comforted in knowing we are not traveling this road alone.

Waiting in hope,

Kristin

The Unexpected Mountain Top

         

            It's been a long journey to where Matt and I are, and I've been promised an adventure ahead. When Matt and I first began trying to get pregnant back in February of 2012, we recognized that my body was not working in a regular rhythm.  I went to the doctor, and they determined I had polycystic ovarian syndrome, which is a reproductive disorder that does not have a cure, and no one knows what causes it. I was hesitant to believe that I had PCOS because several of my symptoms didn't align with the diagnosis, but I was reassured by the doctor that if I followed her course of action I would soon be pregnant. At the time, we weren't ready to stick our toes into the sea of fertility treatment, so we took our time and waited to see if things would sort themselves out. 

             For the next few months, I felt wracked with feelings of the unknown. Why was this happening? Why couldn't we just get pregnant without any major drama like other couples? It was during this time that God spoke to me clearly in a dream. 

             I'm not sure what your theological beliefs are, but I am confident God spoke to me in that dream. Some parts of it are too precious for me to share, but I will share about one key part.

            The most tangible part of my dream was sitting on a high, green mountain top with God. I couldn't see what he looked like but I was leaning up against Him like a child sitting in someone's lap on the ground. I felt completely calm. I can't stress the word calm enough! We were looking silently over at another mountain in close range, and I could just make out someone running straight up a cliff face chasing something. I knew that was me. It was me chasing what I wanted, trying my hardest to catch what alluded me. I heard the message from God, "You can either live your life over there or here with me. It's your choice." 

             It might sound crazy to some, but I've clung to this dream like my life depends on it for almost two years now. Have I completely lived by it? No. Ask my husband. Ask my mom. Ask my best friends. I've spent time running up the cliff face, and I've had to learn what it means to be still, and know that He is God (Psalm 46:10).
           I've struggled with this desire for control even this week as we continue to search for the right agency for our adoption. How do we feel about drug exposure? Different races? Family history of mental illness? I've wanted to just stop and say, after everything we've been through, can't we just have an easy adoption? I am reminded again, I'm not in control. God is, and he is bringing us the child that is meant for our home. We must trust God wholeheartedly, keeping our hands open to receive from a good God.
       If you follow us on facebook, you might have noticed someone decided to anonymously give to our adoption fund. We are so overwhelmed by that person's generosity, and the card they chose to mail with their gift might as well have been hand picked by God himself. The front cover had an illustration of a mountain with the sun peeking over the top! It says,"Sometimes life is hard to understand. We face challenges and obstacles that were never in our plans. Yet we can trust nothing is a surprise to God. He's there to walk with us each step, hold our hands, and guide us to all the good He has for our lives. His love will be with us wherever we go." Amen!

            

Being still and holding His hand,

Kristin

God Is At Work

Matt and I have been so encouraged by everyone's prayers, and have already received an answer. We have been blessed financially and feel that the money hurdle has been lowered! That could only have taken place through the power of our Lord, and we are so grateful. We are still praying and determining which way to go, but we feel God steering us in the direction of domestic adoption, so that has helped narrow the field some. In light of all of the information Matt has uncovered about abortion recently, we feel a fire has been lit under us to save a life from this terrible tragedy. We ask that you begin to pray for our child’s birth parents, and that God will lead them to just the right place so that we can find them! 

More to come,

Kristin

One of Thirty-Six

       

       
          One of the major barriers to Kristin and me starting the adoption process is cost. The cost of infant adoption ranges from $20,000 to 50,000. We simply don't have that kind of cash right now. But what troubles me more than the high cost of adoption is the reason for the high cost.
          Unfortunately, the reason is seldom discussed. Like anything else, supply and demand influences the price; yes, this is true even of adoption. You are probably thinking, "but there are thousands of kids waiting to be adopted. Surely, there is plenty of supply." This couldn't be further from the truth. In fact, 36 couples are waiting to adopt every child who is put up for adoption. Plenty of children who need families are in the foster care system but the foster system is completely different. These children need temporary homes: very few of them are available to adopt and many of them have behavioral issues that require parents with specialized skills and experience.
          So what accounts for such a shortage in children available for adoption? Several factors contribute, but the most significant one is almost never discussed: abortion. The vast majority of women with unwanted pregnancies choose abortion, greatly reducing the supply. In fact, twenty-two percent of pregnancies in the U.S. end in abortion. Obviously, the real tragedy is not the low supply and resulting high cost of adoption but the lives of the millions of babies who are aborted. To put it bluntly, the lack of babies available to be adopted is due to the fact that most of them do not survive to birth. This is an incomprehensible tragedy.
          But what if this tragedy were largely avoidable by simply dispelling the myth that a surplus of babies is waiting to be adopted? Many pregnant mothers wrongly assume that if they put their baby up for adoption, their baby will not find a loving home, not realizing that a waiting list of loving couples is ready to adopt their child. Because of this misunderstanding, they conclude that abortion is a better choice for their baby.
          But what if these pregnant mothers understood that 36 couples have paid thousands of dollars and are waiting to adopt and love their baby and fulfill their dreams? What if they understood that the adoptive family would cover their expenses while they were pregnant? What if they understood that the adoptive family would love them and their babies and would care for them during their pregnancy?
          Together, we can make a difference and save lives just by spreading the word that thousands of couples like Kristin and I would adopt, love and care for the babies who face abortion. Just as importantly, we would love the birth mothers and honor them for their bravery. We would show them that God can turn their mistakes into immense blessings and dreams come true for the adoptive families.
          So spread the word, not just for Kristin and me and the thousands of couples waiting to adopt, but more importantly, for the lives of the thousands of babies who face abortion every day. Perhaps we can influence their mothers to choose life and one day, there will be 36 babies for every 36 couples waiting to adopt.

The Road Less Traveled

Where to begin? For two years I’ve been reluctant to share our lives unedited. Infertility can feel so humiliating. I don’t know why that is, but many I’ve spoken with agree it’s a common feeling. The sense of losing control of your body can be overwhelming, and in reality you never really had control. The roller coaster of emotions as you make decisions about treatment, finances, etc. can seem to rule your life. I will speak more in detail on all of that in future posts.

The biggest challenge has been trying to understand how God could be using any of it. One of the most helpful things I’ve found are blogs that other Christian couples have started to keep their friends and family updated. These individuals are complete strangers to me, but their stories have given me so much hope, even in the worst days.  God has used their trials and testimonies to help guide me through my own trials, moving me towards a transparency that takes the light off myself and places it on God. Here are a few of my favorite blogs I have followed: Little O'Brien Family, Jaimee Morse, Gus and Lula

So, to bring you up to speed on where we are, we have decided to quit infertility treatments and pursue adoption! Matt and I have both felt lead to adopt since before we even knew each other, so this is not a plan B for us. We believe God is using the difficulties we are facing to move us to adoption sooner than what we had originally planned! We’re unsure of where we’ll be adopting from, but we hope to do it from the place we feel has the most need.  We’re open to a child/children anywhere from infancy to 5 years old. 

Financially, we are still not where we need to be to officially get started, so for now we are asking for each of you to pray! Pray that we will have wisdom to choose the right path, whether through international or domestic adoption. Pray that we will be able to raise the funds we need. I also ask that if you know of someone needing to place their baby that you would tell them about us and reassure them that a loving home is an option for their child. Please continue to follow our blog! I believe we will have great things to report in the future.

All is grace,

Kristin