As public as we've been with our story, I have realized
there are a few changes that will be taking place as we grow closer to the day
we bring Baby Krauss home. I need to
give you all more detail as to how this “waiting period” is going to go. Matt
and I have decided that if any potential situations arise, he will be the only
one notified. This means until we are presented to a potential birth mother and
she chooses us (meaning we are matched) I won’t know anything. So if you see me
in person and ask for updates, I’m going to give you a clueless look and shrug.
We decided to do this because the reality of knowing we are being presented to
someone and them not choosing us, possibly many, many times, was too much for
this heart to bear. My hero of a husband came up with this solution, and it’s
made for a pretty great last month. (Don’t even think about pestering him for
information. If he’s not sharing with me, his lips are sealed!)
The only thing that has taken away the comfort of this
situation is when people ask me for updates. Here is an illustration to explain
my point: you know you’ve just gotten in a car to take a potentially very long
car ride. You’ve accepted this fact, and have made up your mind to try and
enjoy the scenery while you drive this undesignated amount of time. After about
ten minutes, one of your kids in the back pipes up, “Are we there yet?” You, of
course, inform them that you haven’t arrived yet, and this proceeds to happen
every 10 minutes or so. At this point, you, the driver, have totally missed all
the pretty scenery and have grown frustrated and impatient about your drive.
This is how I feel when people ask daily for updates. This
new arrangement with Matt in charge has made the waiting period much less
stressful for me but when I am asked “are you there yet,” it brings to the
forefront some of that stress. The reality of the situation is, even when we
are chosen by a birth family, we still might not tell everyone. This could be
for several different reasons. It could all happen so fast there are no steps
in between waiting and having our baby in our arms. It could be that the
situation seems unsteady and we’re nervous it won’t work out. Up until this
point, our story has been ours to tell. The rest of this process involves our
baby’s story, and also their birth parents’ stories. Those are not ours to tell.
When our baby arrives, it will be safe to assume the birth family did not feel
equipped to raise a child, and that’s why they were placed with us. All other
details will remain private.
We know the reason anyone asks us for an update every time
they talk to us is because they care and want to show they are interested in
what’s going on with us. My request is that you would express this caring by
letting us know you are praying for us. We deeply appreciate all of the prayers
that have been lifted up for us so far, and we can’t wait to tell our baby how
much they were loved before they even arrived.
I know in the past I have criticized the seemingly strange
requests first time parents have made, and now that I’m almost standing in
those shoes, I ask your forgiveness. I’m sure we will have other oddball
requests as we venture further down the path, and I ask that you would try to
see things through our eyes and understand we’re just doing what we think is
best for our unique little family.
Always grateful,
Kristin
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